Being a native of Detroit, Michigan am greatly concern about the welfare of the community. Being a African- American male I, understand a lot of the problems that young black men have to deal with. I have some answer to some of the problems! The solutions will deal with a lot of reflection on self. I have to be harsh and critical not only of my self and my past actions but those of my peers and community!
First, we will deal with self! As black men we need to really step up our game. The first thing is for those who do not take care of their children, you need to stop being so selfish and grow up! If you and the mother do not get along so what man- up the child or children do not have anything to do with that! What you are causing indirectly is a anger and bitter young man. Nobody wants to be rejected, especially by their father! We {black men} are the ones are supposed to teaching, guiding and leading these young men. Now days these young men are growing up so angry!
COMPARISONS:
When we grew up young people used or experiment with drugs {alcohol & Marijuana} for fun: be cool, peer pressures or just to mannish {bad}.
Today: I mentor young people, I ask them why do you get high or stay high? The number one answer is STRESS! Stress? I say, what stress do you have you live at home, no bills or children to take care of? They say the relationship between my parents mainly my dad! I don't really know him or he don't really come around nor take care of me! They say they are hurting inside! Getting high takes the pain away? Now we all know that this is only a temporary solution for a long term problem. These young men are a walking time bomb waiting to explode on something or someone!
Brothers you have to spend time with these young men and defuse the time- bomb within you created. I understand times are hard and you may not have money to do what you want for your son. But sending the message that money makes you man is equally or worst then not coming around.
The next problem: parenting
The black community is putting to much importance on material goods! {name brand clothes & accessories, jewelry, cars}. The first problem we have as parents {moms & dads} we watch to much television, therefore we allow the children {young boys} to watch to much also. This whole hip- hop image has been commercialized, so much that a person self worth is tied or directly linked to a material possession! So the minute the young man doesn't have what he see on television his self- esteem goes in the gutter! Now the young man is going to do what ever it takes to get that material good {steal, rob, sell- drugs} which all at some point leads that young man down a violent path that he will be put in a position he will have to kill someone!
Turn the Television OFF! Young people only need a hour or two (2) at the most of television a day. Read a book, play a sport or instrument, get involved in after school activates, church, mentoring program 4- h club etc:
The next problem:
Mothers! Okay, let me start by saying we all LOVE YOU!
Moms you can not take it out on the kids because things did not work with the man! I know everybody is grown, but you can not I repeat can not say what ever you feel or think in front of those children. Not only are you bitter but you are making those young men bitter and angry because of the bashing of dad! Now your son has low self- esteem! With at some point turns to anger if not corrected. Moms this is another big problem, you should not use the children as pawns and for ransom payments!
Pawns- when you are mad at dad he can not see the kids even if he is paying and doing his part. That has to stop your hurting the child more then the dad, plus your confusing the child which over time results in anger!
Ransom payments- this is a complicated one? If he is not paying or doing his {dad} part they have courts of law to handle that! Moms you can not be the court! The first and only problem with that, there are two (2) sides to every story then the truth! Next you make those children feel so bad your dad did not pay me so he can not see you! If you do, do this you are destroying that child inside emotionally. Which cause hurt, pain and confusion which can lead to pin- up emotion and somebody could get hurt or killed one day?
The next problem:
Church & the Mosque they really need to step there game up! They are light years behind in address the woes of the community! Let me tell all the clergy men this "saving souls is not a business" GOD don't deal in money! Clergy men need to open their hearts, minds{prejudice} and doors to the young people! They got souls too! Where are the youth days at? Where are breakfast programs at? Where are after school tutoring & mentoring class at? Neighborhood clean- up projects? No organized community meetings? No marching locked- arms to stop the killings? Working with law- officials using your influence to do more about the violence and killing? When did the church stop being a safe guard for the community which it is suppose to help safe guard? The church should at least foster some grass- roots programs to address the killings in Detroit if they see fit for them not to get involved !
Main Solution:
Stop blaming them children {young men} for the problems we put on them and the ones they inherited simple because they was born black in America! You all acted like they crazy! There is nothing wrong with them, all they do is what they see and are taught! Now, what that say about us? Who really the crazy ones now?
peace, love unity
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